Do I really want to go to Manchester after what happened?

I bought the flight tickets to Manchester! Yes! How cool is that? I always wanted to go there, I love England, I love Oasis, I love football.

Six hours after my amazing purchase, I got a message from my friend that there was an attack in Manchester arena…
Oh did I mention I was going to Manchester for a concert???
I mean, doesn’t it scare the shit out you? Do you know what happened with all the joy I had last night? GONE.
What’s happening in Manchester right now? Is it safe to travel there or not? Will they close the airport or cancel all the concerts? Who’s gonna answer these questions?

What would you do? All your friends and family tells you that you’re crazy if you’re still going there! Are you out of your mind???
I said fuck it, does it mean that I can’t go anywhere anymore? Should I be scared for the rest of my life and not go anywhere?
NO!

I started my trip with my head full of doubt and insecurity of how it’s gonna be. When I arrived it was sunny and absolutely beautiful. Streets were full of people having smile on their faces. And I was thinking to myself, well it’s not that bad. People look ok, they’re having a good time. All the stress went away and I was happy.

I was going to have a beer and then security stopped me and told me to leave… Because I was wearing a backpack.
Well, maybe it’s not ok after all. So I went for a walk and I started thinking if people look at my back pack and are they afraid? I started looking at other people with backpacks and was thinking is this person wanting to kill me?

I had to stop these stupid questions. It’s the result of everything going on around, everything you hear and read in the news. I had to start
enjoying the moment. Ok, I live in this age where terrorism is a fact. But my parents lived in communism and their parents lived in the World War II.
No, it’s not ok, it’s not good but you have to live anyway. And you have to learn to live with it.

With all these thoughts in my head, I was walking past a big arena which had a weird feel around. Of course, it was Manchester Arena, I just didn’t know it was so close to the city centre. I didn’t want to take any pictures of it but you would still had to be there to feel it. Everything comes down to you and it all
makes it real and it’s not a bad news which is overrated. It is a fact, it really happened and people died. And you might too, because you went to the place
exactly where it happened and maybe it’s not over yet.

I had tickets to Robbie Williams dress rehearsal before his tour, which took place at Etihad Stadium. While waiting before they let us in, I was standing
around people with bags, luggage, backpacks, everything. Anything could happen, anything, anywhere! Yes, there was Police, Security everywhere but how can they make sure that nothing bad would happen?

After they let us in, we went through security checks etc. including they sent dogs at us. Well, at least I felt safe because I knew nothing will happen inside.
After the concert, I was leaving Etihad Stadium and bad thoughts started again, there were a lot of people around… Concert was amazing but I still had to make my way to the Airport at night.. and wander Manchester streets. Is that safe or not? The Police was everywhere in the city but still..

I went to pick up my backpack in a hotel and I was going to the airport but a nice guy from my country working at the hotel recommended me great pub close by. I decided to go there and have a cider. Of course they checked my backpack properly before entering the pub which was good. I felt safer too.
I was going down the stairs and I heard very loud music and I swear to God it was Oasis — Don’t look back in anger — playing and the whole pub was sining!
Every person in this bar, including bar tenders and cleaners was singing this song with hope, love and strength. I joined them immediately and I felt I’m in an unbelievable moment of understanding and accepting what is going on.

Where I’m living. It didn’t matter I’m not from Manchester, I joined the song and it is a gesture that if something happened to me in my country, they will stand up for me too. They will support me, because they know it can happnen to anyone, anywhere.

We were different nationality but we were young people with hopes and dreams. Facing this cruel age of fear. We need to stick together and support each other.
We cannot give up and say we will stay in our house for the rest of our lives because that’s the safest place on Earth.

And we can’t look back in anger… You can see my full story and blog section on my website https://www.nicoleven.com/